So this week has been pretty stressful...like really, really stressful. But now that today is over, I'm pretty much in the clear. Today was my US history final (it was supposed to be a little "testy-doodle" but it was 160 questions...yeah that's what we like to call a large testy-doodle...) and most importantly, today was also my gold award project proposal presentation (say that 5 times fast!). I think it went quite well, especially considering I did all of the paperwork yesterday! There I go with my teenage procrastination...but what can I say? I work well under pressure! In fact I seem to thrive. So, here I am: no longer panicking, no longer on the verge of tears (as I was all of yesterday...yeah, finals + gs gold award = stress!), and with 2 days left of my junior year. I know everyone keeps saying it to me, but I'm finally seeing it: I've really grown up. One year from now, I'll be an adult. I'll be out of high school and getting ready to leave home and go to college. I have my own opinions, I can have intelligent conversations, I try to expose myself to as many thought-provoking ideas as I can, I have a sense of right and wrong, I have confidence, and I can communicate professionally with adults. It's just weird...it seems to have just fallen on me like a ton of bricks today purely because of the proposal presentation (which was pretty much like a job interview). I don't know how to describe it. I guess all I can say is that I have adult friends, genuine friends who treat me as an equal. I enjoy the company of my parents' friends, and they enjoy my company (as far as I can tell). Looking back, it's amazing how much I changed. From introverted to outgoing; from overly sensitive to strong; meeting new people used to terrify me, but now I get up on stage and I play guitar and piano and I sing, and it still terrifies me, but that's just it, I do it anyways. I have true passion for life and an appreciation for what I have. I hope no one thinks I'm bragging, but I'm really happy with where I'm at right now: mature but not too terribly serious...it just seems like a good balance.
I think I'm finding myself.
I'm realizing all those little plans I've made as a kid aren't that unfathomable. Backpacking in South America. A bike tour across Europe. Climbing every fourteener in Colorado. It could all happen. Even those strange creatures called boys have stepped into my life (not far, but baby steps)...I know! it's just weird haha!
And I think some credit needs to go to Girl Scouts: a constant in my life, a support system, and something that has helped make me a better person.
And if my parents think us kids grow up fast, well, it seems to have caught me by surprise, too.
I'm just loving life. :) Now quit reading and go hug somebody!!
~Runner
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